We are indeed our enemy. There is no enemy in the outside world. We know what we should do but still procrastinate to do them. Most often we have more knowledge than most of the people. But what is the use of knowledge if it is not put into action.
But why do we do that? Why are we self-sabotaging?
Here are the five reasons
1. Fear of change:
We so badly want things to change for the better, but at the same time, we tend to get scared of the new change. The doubt arises like “Could I handle it?”, “Am I worth enough?” etc. Our brain doesn’t strive to success it seeks for comfort and safety. Getting into the unknown is scary. We still have the cavemen mentality in us. Cave = Safe.
Solution: Do one activity every day that you haven't done before. Build that muscle of change and prove yourself.
2. What if I fail?
We get scared of the consequences and how people react if we fail. If you want to please others, you will always be stuck in self-sabotaging. Your job is not to convince others but to convince yourself. We would have read this as a quote and read it in books, not to please others. But subconsciously we do believe it at a certain level.
Solution: Focus on the outcome. List down what would happen if you win and the bright side of it. This helps your subconscious to take action.
3. Distract when a problem arises
Nowadays distraction is very feasible in our pockets. When a problem arises, we tend to distract it with something rather than facing it. That’s the reason social media has become so popular. Check it out for yourself. Next time you pick out your phone, think if you are distracting yourself or you are doing something useful with the device. Celebrity gossips are the new trend because we compare our life problem with others and feel satisfied that our problems are not worse enough.
Solution: When you take out your mobile for distracting yourself, make a conscious decision to face the problem rather. This conscious decision will grow into a habit one day.
4. Instant gratification
We love comfort. Achieving your dream outcome is a long road. That comfortable sofa is right beside you. We long to get satisfied instantly. Have you met people who seek to eat junk while stressed? What they do is instant gratification. To face a problem and solve it requires patience, perseverance, and the right mindset, it’s a long road to feeling satisfied. But junk food gives you instant pleasure in seconds. We distract ourselves with short term pleasure.
Solution: As said earlier, build the muscle to face the problem at that moment, rather than postponing it. In some cases taking time to self-reflect is necessary but you have to come to an outcome as soon as possible.
5. Peer mindset
Why should I do the hard work? My family and friends are having a good time not taking risks; let me also do the same. Most people get influenced by their surroundings. Babies don’t learn what we teach; they mirror what we do. We are still babies deep. We mirror what we see in others. That’s the reason it is vitally important to choose wise friends. Pages you follow in social media, the videos you watch, and the topics you discuss with friends is very important.
Of course, we need fun times, but you get to decide the percentage level. Find the balance.
Solution: Choose friends who uplift you and inspire you. Unfollow pages that don’t support your values in life. Dare to be different.
Stay hungry, Stay foolish – Steve Jobs