‘Kids don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.’ - Jim Henson, It’s not easy being green: And other things to Consider
Isn’t the quote just apt? Childhood brings soft music to mind, it brings that smile of sunshine. Wasn’t it peaceful, calm, and tension-free? But for a few, it is more like a dark sky, filled with thunders and tremors, causing trauma. Transcending through teenage and adulthood you might have overcome most of them. But a few remain deep-rooted, to be healed with time. Now that you have given time, some time to heal, you are in a position to forgive, forgive your past, and forgive yourself.
This is the blog that you must read to answer questions such as can childhood trauma be healed; surviving childhood without love, friends, parents (childhood without internet is like the pre-internet super low-key feeling. We’ll address it separately!) Post-reading, we have a small activity for you. It is a simple one.
The 5 lessons
1. Emotions bottled up- elders always put up a smile, and pretend as though everything is fine. Sometimes anger flares up so much that you as a child might have gotten scared so much that you might have felt cornered, with emotions all bottled up. The same habit might have been followed growing up as well. But it is okay to talk to that person you trust. Opening up simply makes you feel light on your shoulders. All those incidents that got you to bottle up your emotions happened in the past. Forgive yourself, your bottle up emotions.
2. Accepting failure- do you remember the lemon and spoon race? Or that gunny bag race? All the cheers from parents and friend’s parents must be resonating, isn’t it? But for a few, not completing that race would have been a disappointment. Seeing others cross that winning line, might have demotivated you a lot. But the race of life has something different planned for you. Back then crossing that line might be hard. But you have come a long way in the race of life. There are ups and downs. Accept that failure is a part of your life. What happened is in the past. Forgive yourself and that lemon and spoon fallen on the ground.
3. Getting what is asked for- adamant kids get things their own way. They cry, get red in anger, hit themselves, or their parents, but they want what they want. Transcending to teenage and adulthood leaves an unlikeable impression. It is better addressed at the tender age itself. Learning to accept ‘no’ as an answer from the very beginning of unnecessary demands of cranky childhood, does help in the transcending ages. But all that is in the past. Forgive yourself, your adamant behaviour.
4. Self-dependent- in order to make you responsible, parents might ask you to do certain tasks by yourself. But that, at some point in time, might have made you alone. Despite knowing that others are with you on the same boat, it is difficult to escape that alone feeling. But if not for that, you wouldn’t able to stand on your feet as much as you have now. But all that is in the past. Forgive yourself, your thoughts.
5. Peer pressure- friends during childhood play an important role. So much so that a few school friends are your best friends, a few even soul mates now. But sometimes the same peer pressure takes a toll. Unknowingly distancing someone for another’s company leaves you in a lurch. Some are forced to do so. We never know how one becomes after growing up. But that is all in the past. Forgive yourself, your friends.
The Bonus read
6. Marks- always expecting an A+ or a distinction grade is like the standard expectancy motto of every parent. But hey! Each child’s ability to perform academically is different. Asking kids to be friends with the topper and not mingle with those who are trouble makers, that is making choice on behalf of your child without even knowing what they want. But that is all in the past. Forgive yourself, your parents.
Childhood is the most beautiful phase for anyone. But not everyone would have enjoyed it as much as it appears to be. Somewhere or the other, there might be an incident that might have scarred you; someone’s comment might have hurt you. And you might still be carrying that baggage. But it all happened in the past. You cannot let your past childhood thoughts affect you now. You are much mature now. Unlearn those scarring lessons. You need to forgive yourself; you need to forgive your past.
The Conclusion - Your activity
We told earlier it is a simple one. So here is the deal. We will keep the activity very simple, and in turn, you have to do it. What say? Done deal?
Here you go...
You just have to sit back straight, close your eyes, think of the earliest memory that strikes your mind. Let all the thoughts flow in. Good, bad. Just be aware of your thoughts. You might have seen your infant pictures. One chubby cute baby, you were, weren’t you? Or at least you imagine so. Ascend the age, to a toddler, to a tweenager, teenager, to adulthood. You have fought and won every day! You have strived very hard to stand on your feet. Just take a look back and see how far you have progressed! You should be very proud of yourself. No matter how good or bad your childhood was, it is in the past. You have your learnings for today. So forgive your past, forgive yourself. Be thankful for today, and for that, you deserve the tightest hug from yourself!